Older Women Choose Cohousing: Stories of Support and Friendship

In the modern world, many older women encounter a profound sense of loneliness, particularly when they lose their partners or find themselves living in solitude. This reality has prompted some of them to opt for an unconventional solution — to live together in women’s communities. Such communities allow them to share a home, care, and daily joys, significantly enhancing their quality of life, as reported by BBC.

Pet Dunn, a resident of Ontario, Canada, serves as a vivid example of a woman who has found new meaning in life after the loss of her husband. Following his death and the rising cost of rent, she realized that living alone had become frightening and challenging. "It’s not that I don’t like men," she explains. "I just wanted my circle — women who support one another. I initially went into this out of desperation, but now I’m very glad I took that step."

Today, Dunn lives with other women she did not know before, helping hundreds of older women find their own "home circle." After her husband’s death, she found herself in a difficult financial situation: "Money was running out very quickly," she recalls. In search of a solution, Dunn remembered the American TV show "The Golden Girls," where older women live together, and decided to create a Facebook group for women in similar situations.

Dunn did not expect her initiative to spark such significant interest. Within the first week, 50 women joined her group, and by the end of the month, that number had grown to 200. Many shared their difficult stories: some were living in their cars, while others faced poverty alone. This led to the establishment of the non-profit organization Senior Women Living Together, which helps women find housemates. Today, the organization boasts thousands of participants.

Dunn currently lives with two women she did not know before: one has been single her entire life, while the other has been married several times but has no children. "We got used to each other over four to six months to sort out all the little things," Dunn explains. "No one wants to live as if they’re walking through a minefield in their own home. We need to be honest and discuss everything." The organization does not match housemates directly but helps find like-minded individuals and shares advice on daily living, including cooking, cleaning, paying rent, setting boundaries, and planning for aging, including illness or moving to specialized facilities.

In Finland, Hanne Nutenen founded a similar community called La Joie Homebase, which provides shared living opportunities for women, primarily on a temporary basis. Nutenen’s experience as a single mother who has lived and worked in three countries demonstrated the need for daily support and shared experiences. "After 50, half of life is behind us. We know what we want and who we are. We want to be ourselves," she states.

The project started in southern France but now operates in Italy, Spain, and Morocco, offering accommodations from a week to a month. "In the coming decades, there will be 2.1 billion people over 60. Women of this age have similar interests. This is directly related to the longevity economy," Nutenen explains. The groups are small, and participants undergo orientation and online meetings before arriving. The host ensures a positive atmosphere and helps resolve conflicts. Each woman has her own room, and communal living includes cooking, cleaning, and various activities together.

Both women emphasize that such communities are suitable for those who can take care of themselves and do not require specialized care. Dunn describes her approach as "mindful": there are shared goals and agreements. Nutenen adds, "It’s important to share life, not just a roof over your head. To feel safe and among friends."

Dunn’s children support her choice, although some worry if their parents move far away or have to adapt to a new lifestyle. Nutenen’s daughter occasionally attends community events and sees that they are safe. In Ontario, approximately 150,000 single older women live in poverty. Globally, the number of people over 60 is rapidly increasing, with women making up the majority.

Politicians, developers, and landlords are increasingly interested in such projects as practical and affordable solutions. The experiences of both founders have completely transformed their lives. Hanne Nutenen has been able to live and work in various countries, meet new cultures, and discover different ways of living. For Dunn, it has become a source of security and friendship after a period of grief and solitude. "I’ve gone from the fear of being homeless to secure housing with wonderful women," she says. "I was alone 24 hours a day, and I will never be that way again."

These communities offer a new perspective on mature life: the opportunity for choice, genuine communication, and mutual support among women experiencing similar life stages.